There is no end to the wisdom and insight people seek on this blog. As always, I'm honored to be of help. Well, except for some of these people - you know who you are.
How many people use toilet paper to whip their buts? My guess is not many – can’t be all that effective.
Mommy Pelvic Floor Blog -- Taking niche blogging to the next level.
Why do hermit crabs croak – Umm… so they can get to hermit crab heaven?
Is it normal for an eight month old baby to be wearing three month old shoes – It’s not normal for any baby to be wearing any shoes - either that or I’m an even worse mother than I thought.
Scrapbooking 7 Deadly Sins – If this is the most interesting thing you have to scrapbook, you might want to find a new hobby.
You know god damn well who burned the house down – Excuse me, I don’t think I like your tone.
Did you just have to google the seven deadly sins to see what they were? – Well… pretty much. You could also just watch that old Brad Pitt movie.
I can’t help it I think ur adorable -- Aww, thanks, I think you’re pretty special too.
Waiting for Extreme Makeover to call – I know I could use some help, but I was thinking something like an Oprah makeover would be sufficient, am I really THAT bad?
I married a ninja - Oh my gosh, does he do parties? My sons would be so impressed!
Obama the lord - I guess it kind of works in that Christmas hymn, “Oh come let us adore hi-i-im, O –baaaaaa---- maaaaaa the loooord!”
Cloth diapers are gross fanatics – I know it! And how about those plastic covers? Repulsive lunatics!
Immigrants and peanut butter – I hate to be controversial, but seriously folks, what if those people eat ALL the peanut butter, then what are we going to do?!
Little people in porn – Lord help us.
Can mom move in - Yes, please! Send her over, we’re in desperate need of a mom here.
What would my Mexican husband like for Valentines Day? – I didn’t know Valentine’s Day was ethno-specific, but I’ll take a stab and say that if he’s like most husbands he’d most like to skip Valentine’s Day.
Public breastfeed grope - All of this effort we’ve made to normalize breastfeeding as nature’s method of nourishing babies just doesn’t seem to be working does it.
love is never being saying I love you -- Well… I think you’re remembering Jenny from Love Story who said, “Love is never having to say you’re sorry.” But FYI, she was full of shit - if you’re married surely you know love means always having to say you’re sorry.
How can I be a feminist and a Catholic – Well, it’s slightly easier than being a Libertarian and a Catholic. You just need the intestinal fortitude to piss the feminists off half the time and the Catholics the other half. Oh- and the courage to go to hell too - naturally. No biggie – it can be done.
Husband wants to be babied diapered plastic pants -- Uh… babied, sure, who doesn’t? Plastic pants? I suppose you could try to keep an open mind if he’s an otherwise good dude. But diapered? I’d be looking for an attorney.
Women shouldn’t cook – This is an interesting variation on the “women shouldn’t work” that I have made fun of in the past, but now this got me thinking… If we can’t work and can’t cook, all we need to do is start a “women shouldn’t clean” movement and we’re set! Think of the time we’ll have to blog and watch TV and read The New Yorker!
Hid the head – I can’t decide if this is amusing or terrifying.
My dad is married to a nut - How embarrassing, but aren’t those kids of mine precocious.
Tater tot nipples – You think that surely I make this shit up, but I’m telling you, I am not that funny, certainly not that bizarre.
Duggar Family Kit – You too can make your own Duggars in the privacy of your own home!
Big breast is best – Not when you’re the one who has to haul it around, thankyouverymuch.
Ectomorph college -- I suppose that's one way of narrowing down your post-secondary education options.
Agnostic parents + we stiking up for our kids if their being told about God when your not around -- I wholeheartedly support your right to tell your kids anything about God you wish, but please, for the love of Friedrich Nietzsche let someone else tell them about spelling and grammar.