Sunday, December 02, 2007

7 Random Things about Me: A Meme

1. I have been blogging for almost two and a half years, and this is the first time ever that anyone has tagged me for a meme. How unloved must I be? But please don’t take that to mean I would really like to be tagged in the future or anything. Once is good. Thanks Lori!

2. Along those same lines, I used to be a gym rat, and girls would always tell me how they just can’t stand going to the gym because they constantly get hit on. One day a guy I worked with told me his girlfriend had just ended her gym membership, because she was so tired of being treated like a piece of meat.

I said, “Really? I wonder why nobody ever hits on me at the gym.”

“Probably because you take a step class or read a book,” he said, “What do you read on the exercise bike?”

“This week, a history book called Women & Religion in America,” I shrugged.

“Yeah, see,” he said, “that doesn’t turn anybody on. Anyway, you’re married, why do you want to be hit on?”

“I don’t,” I said, “I was just wondering if something’s wrong with me.”

“You’re too smart,” he said.

Which isn’t true, but it’s the best answer I could have hoped for, all things considered.

3. I just finished a great class in which I learned more about myself and about my writing than I’d learned my entire life prior. I had to write memoir for the class, which I thought I knew how to do – I mean, I write about myself all the time, right? Not exactly. What I learned is that I do write about myself and my life all the time, but I always distance my SELF from the story either by using humor (as I do, with varying degrees of success, on this blog) or by passing everything off as fiction. If it’s fiction, I don’t have to actually own it, unless I want to. So it is with this blog – if someone says I’m a terrible mother, I can always say, no, you just have no sense of humor. But for this class, I interrogated myself and I wrote it all down – the good, the bad, the dark, and the yucky. It was incredibly painful. No punchline.

4. Ultimate Fighting is my favorite sport to watch. My husband and I even watch The Ultimate Fighter reality shows – we hate reality TV and have never watched any of it. But this is different! I swear. I think it’s because the people in the show are athletes, not actors.

During the actual fights and the TV shows, my husband and I have highly intelligent conversations regarding technique and such. Or maybe we just mostly make fun of everyone a la Mystery Science Theatre or The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I always tell my husband that we should videotape ourselves, drinking beer and eating cheese and delivering incredibly witty commentary, and send it to Dana White, who would surely think we’re brilliant and offer us a job. But my husband says we’re probably the only people who think we’re entertaining.

Kalib Starnes is my current favorite middleweight. My husband said, “I bet you have a crush on him since he writes poetry?”

And I didn’t answer, but let’s face it, in the “hot” department, an ass-kicking poet is hard to beat.

Sometimes after the fights we have our own cage match, and I whip my husband’s ass (don’t tell him I said so), and then I say, “See I’m strong right? If I get attacked, I’ll just…”

And he says, “If you get attacked, you really should run. Trust me. As fast as you can.”

I think he’s trying to imply that he just lets me win (“It’s not that I can’t win, I just like being in your guard,” he always says), but la la la la la I’m not listening.

5. Referring back to #1 and #2, I’m always reading how my favorite bloggers are just being harassed right and left by PR people, and I wonder, what is wrong with me? And then it happened to me. To me! And Cindy did a beautiful job in her approach, and she was telling me of a very wonderful thing, something that indeed I (and probably a fair number of my readers) would like to know about. I was so excited, but then I realized, now I have to take the time to educate myself about this and then find the time to write about it. So I don’t need anymore PR stuff either, but thanks for thinking of me once. I feel so special now.

Pax World Mutual Funds has a Women’s Fund. As a disclaimer I haven’t decided to invest or not invest in this fund, and no one is paying me to write about it. I’m just passing on the information. The Women’s Fund seeks to not only invest in companies with a high environmental sustainability rating, but also in those companies that promote gender equality. Another plus is that it only requires $250 as a minimum investment.

Do companies who meet certain sustainability requirements, affording them the description “socially responsible” perform as well as the rest from an investment standpoint? Most studies have shown that they outperform or perform at least as well as mainstream companies.

If you have any money left after this absurd and annoying buying frenzy we call “the holidays” is over, check them out.

6. I watched Alice’s Restaurant with my kids on Thanksgiving. When I went to rent it, I was surprised to see that it’s rated R. “I don’t remember anything bad in this movie, do you?” I asked the 18 year old girl working at the video store.

“I’ve never even heard of that movie,” she answered. Which did NOT make me feel old. Not at all.

I kept my hand on the remote in case it became wildly inappropriate, but it wasn’t that bad – some mature subject matter that went right over the kids’ heads is all. Anyway, they were about as impressed with the movie as they are by my rendition of the song (at the top of my lungs), but they did enjoy my homemade popcorn cooked in coconut oil.

Often when I see movies I remember enjoying as a youngster I find them so stupid now, but I love this movie all over again. Dated perhaps, but Arlo is still groovy after all these years.

7. Brevity is not my strong suit, which is why I should never ever attempt to cover 7 separate things in one blog post. Instead of 7 random things about me, this is closer to seventeen thousand. In other words, once I start talking, I can’t shut up – sorry.


feefifoto said...

You just be as long-winded as you want -- your writing is a pleasure to read. And about that "too smart" comment -- yeah, I've heard that one too.

Cynthia Samuels said...

I love Alice's Restaurant! My big "show the kids" heartbreak was Hard Day's Night - they were BORED!!! Can you imagine? Lots of those "old" movies sunk in - and one that was even before my time was a great reassurance to me: The Thin Man. Both boys fell hard for Myrna Loy when they were little. I knew then I was doing something right.

Lori at Spinning Yellow said...

A meme virgin? I am so honored to be your first .... person who tagged you. I am no experienced meme-er myself, mind you, and I have several to do that are months (!) late.

This was great! Funny as always. Yeah, I've heard the too smart thing before also. I think you have to look like you need something to get hit on, whether it be a compliment or help with the treadmill.

Don't forget to tag some people (you are supposed to tag 7 people, but, whatever).

SUEB0B said...

Hey, you may be a meme virgin but you can proudly say you have been on Linkateria at least twice (maybe 3x?), which is pretty rare. Maybe Kevin Charnas and I Am Bossy, but I can't think of any others.

Staci Schoff said...

Oh no Lori, I forgot to tag people -- No wonder nobody ever calls me out to do anything!

And Suebob, you are very good to me!

Mary Alice said...

I had to laugh at #2. I never get hit on in the gym either. Apparently any evidence of intelligence is a real turn off! I’ll try hiding my real books inside the pages of Cosmo, next time I’m looking for an ego boast.

Mom101 said...

I love that you were reading Women and Religion at the gym. But definitely switch to US Weekly if you want to attract the men who don't want threateningly strong women in their lives. (As if.)

Anjali said...

I'm so glad someone tagged you! I'll keep you in mind if I ever get tagged again (which is actually a pretty rare event).

gorillabuns said...

or you could peruse a copy of FHM for some idle conversation.

cce said...

On Thanksgiving day, I ran out to run an errand and forced my kids to come with me. Three radio stations were playing Alice's Restaurant simultaneously. It was eerie and the kids absolutely HATED the song. I made them listen's just part of the holiday, right?
I've been tagged for this meme as well and just can't seem to find the energy to comply. Maybe this week!