Thursday, September 07, 2006

Trading Sex for Household Labor? Or Laziness Perchance?

The other day there was a news headline that said, “Trading Chores for Sex?” And my husband joked that he was going to read it to find out what tricks I use to get him to do housework… so he could use it to his advantage and get out of helping around here.

But I informed him that I actually don’t trade sex for chores. Back in the day when I was desperately waiting for him to come home and hold the baby for seven minutes so I could take a shower, things were different. I sort of felt like I had the raw end of the deal. But these days, with both kids potty-trained and in school part time, it's actually pretty nice to be me, so I don't really mind doing the dishes alone after dinner.

He was annoyed by the article anyway, because as he put it, "What the hell? Do chicks not want to have sex and they only do it begrudgingly in return for household labor?"

And I said, "of course not." It’s resentment that makes a woman not want to have sex. If she’s been working until 10:00 at night cleaning, cooking, and dealing with the kids, while he’s been laying around on the couch doing nothing, then the last thing she’s going to want to do is have sex with him at the end of all that. Not because she doesn’t like it, but because she’s resentful toward him for having to do all the work.

Should Eminem… Ahem! I mean, Denzel Washington show up, well then she might feel differently. What's not to understand?

"Yeah," my husband said, "for a guy it’s totally different. If a guy feels like he has to do all the work and all she does is sit around being useless and lazy, he’ll be thinking, I at least better get laid."

Ah… News I can use! Now next time he comes home from work and asks, “Do you know why all of our shoes and butter knives are piled up on top of the kitchen table?”

And I look up from the computer in a blog-induced fog and say, “Um… no, but I know what Dooce had for breakfast this morning,” I won’t bother feeling guilty... And he thought he was going to trick me.

Here’s hoping no one stops by unannounced while I’m blog-surfing and eating bon-bons all hours of the day from now on…


At 4:22 PM, Blogger PunditMom said...

Hmmm ... maybe if I tell my husband there could be some hanky-panky in it for him if he does a couple of loads of laundry, then I might be rested enough to contemplate that which is just a vague memory.

At 8:18 PM, Blogger Jill said...

Your husband makes a good point. Why DON'T women at least want to get laid if they get stuck with most of the work. But it doesn't work like that, does it?

Here's another conundrum. What do I say to the husband when he explains that he shouldn't have to clean as much as I want him to because he doesn't mind the mess? He's happy in a sloppy house and doesn't feel that I should be able to dictate the standard of cleanliness.

. . . Just typing that got me all resentful.

At 8:51 PM, Blogger Mary Tsao said...

Awesome. The male point of view. Suddenly, everything is starting to make sense...

At 6:57 PM, Blogger Heather said...

I've totally got the mentality going over here with my DH.

I guess one part of the next 15 weeks of bedrest I can look forward to is him doing the dishes without expecting something in return. LOL

At 4:25 AM, Blogger Anjali said...

I actually enjoy doing dishes alone after dinner, too. Because if I'm doing them alone, it means that he has the kids elsewhere!

At 3:33 PM, Blogger Fresh Mommy said...

My husband is pretty good at helping out around the house, so there's been no trading of sex for chores here. However...the other night when he was debating whether to leave that evening for a business trip (he would drive to his mother's apartment which is much closer to his destination and drive the shorter distance in the morning) or leave before the crack of dawn the next morning, I offered to make it worth his while to stay the night. Hey, don't judge me! I don't like to be alone!

At 6:58 PM, Blogger Jenn said...

Thankyou for helping me to figure out my husband!

It's true - it's all true. Also, he doesn't seem to mind living in a messy house - in fact, he doesn't notice - which is why he never bothers to clean up, and also doesn't seem to notice that that's what I do all day, following the heels of 3 destructive whirlwinds that take pride in messing up a room in 3.6 seconds.

Now to use this knowledge for good.....for my good of course....Muwwwahhahahahahhahaha

At 11:35 AM, Blogger Pendullum said...

That actually made me laugh out loud!!!

At 7:41 AM, Anonymous onetallmomma said...

You are so funny!

At 6:29 AM, Blogger Kate said...

That's so right! It's not that I don't want to have sex, but if I'm feeling like I did more than him today, the last thing I feel like doing is pleasing him even further!

At 6:41 PM, Blogger Oh, The Joys said...

That's so funny. I'm glad I found you!


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