Wednesday, August 09, 2006

If You Think Eminem is Bad…

When I posted that I would like to be in Fiji with Eminem several people insinuated that perhaps I have poor taste. This wouldn’t be entirely inaccurate, but let me elaborate in my defense (or somewhat in my defense I guess).

Over dinner that night, I told my husband that I’d said Eminem is hot on my blog and everyone freaked out. He laughed and laughed and said, “You were joking, right?” I shook my head. And he disgustedly said, “Honey… He’s a scummy little runt... and a 'gangsta'... he looks like a tiny, pasty little neo-nazi. What is wrong with you?”

And I said, “Hey… I think he's cute.”

My husband quickly ended the conversation by saying, “Come on! I’m trying to eat here!”

A few years ago, we watched the HBO prison drama “OZ,” and in one of the story lines one of the prisoners became obsessed with the prison doctor and had her husband killed. The guy (Dean Winters) is kind of hot (in my apparently warped opinion) and when she’s (naturally) ignoring him and telling him to leave her alone, I was all… gees, bad writing… she would totally love him in real life. And I dreamily said, “Look how much he loves her!”

And my baffled husband said, “He does not ‘love her’ he’s a sociopath! What is wrong with you???”

Someone else I like is James Spader (think Sex, Lies and Videotape and Secretary). And I love Maggie Gyllenhaal too. Every time I tell my husband how much I love the movie Secretary, he says, “James Spader? I don’t get it.” And when I go on to say at the end (when Maggie Gyllenhaal pees her pants) that she so obviously adores him, my husband puts his arms around me and says (insert voice one would use when trying to ease another into a straight jacket), “You are a sick sick girl…” (kisses the top of my head) “…you need help Babe.”

To which I answer, “I don’t need any help… I have you… the Secretary needs some help!”

If that’s not bad enough, Woody Allen is looking kind of haggard these days, but back in the day, when I was nineteen and he got together with Soon Yi… he totally could’ve had me. (I’m sure Woody deeply regrets not snagging me when he had the chance.) I haven’t even shared this with my husband as I’m afraid if he finds out, he might take the kids and run.

Do you see a pattern here? There’s something wrong with me evidently. But being objectively attractive (or even being a good person) and being sexy doesn’t always go hand in hand. So I say there’s nothing wrong with a little pretend Eminem. Perhaps I have bizarre and eclectic taste, but in real life I do okay.

I have some good taste and some bad. The important thing is… look how cute and normal and nice and good and patient my husband is! Actually he’s really not all that nice… he is standing in the background here rolling his eyes and asking if it’s really necessary for me to post pictures of him on the internet. But he really is good and normal and patient… and cute! Much better looking than Eminem, I admit.

He cleans up good too.

And he’s absolutely the sweetest dad ever.
So you see… I have good taste… when it matters at least. Posted by Picasa


arkbuilder said...

Hi! I left a comment as Toni under the last Mommy Wars and have decided to reopen my blog with a more serious commitment to it. taste must be questionable as well because I've always celeb-crushed on James Spader since the _Pretty in Pink/Mannequin_ days. Now, I've got to agree with your husband (and other commenters)about the Eminem ickiness but I guess I'd have to rate him above the likes of Vanilla Ice in terms of hotness.

Kate said...

Aww. Mr. Attitude is darned good lookin' and has a sweet smile.

About Eminem, I'm totally not someone to talk to, being so far out of date vis-a-vis current culture that it's pathetic.

Jill said...

OK, now I really think you have bad taste. But your husband is absolutely a cutie! I can only believe that one of your friends must have had an intervention with you to get you to see the light and marry the right guy.

That said, I'm glad that you break out of the rutt of the big three hotties for women of our generation (Brad Pitt, Keanu Reeves, Johnny Depp). Predictability is boring. Here are my nontraditional faves: Thomas Hayden Church, Jason Bateman, Owen Wilson. I'm also not entirely over Judd Nelson in Breakfast Club. Mock me if you will.

MommyWithAttitude said...

Minnehana Mama, obviously I'm in no position to mock! And I love Owen Wilson too! But my husband thinks he's funny, so he doesn't make fun of me for that one...

Mommy off the Record said...

Aww, you guys look like such a cute couple!

Well, if it makes you feel any better, I totally have a crush on Criss Angel, the illusionist from the show Criss Angel Mindfreak. I posted about it once and people thought I was weird too!

Krissy said...

Hey, Eminem is pretty hot. We all do have a few of those weird crushes that even WE can't exlplain ourselves though LOL.

Jenny said...


1. I totally agree with you on evey single thing. I had such a thing for Dean Winters on OZ and my husband thought I was insane. He *did* love her! (In a terribly twisted way...but still.) You are totally right on all those guys.

Except for Woody Allen, you sick puppy.

2. Your husband is a hottie.

3. Your whole family is adorable.

Julie Julie Bo Boolie said...

James Spader does it for me too. As do a few other non-traditional looking men.

You made a good choice tho... your DH is WAAAAAYYYYYY better looking than Woodie Allen.



Anjali said...

What a gorgeous couple. You did good, honey. You did good!

Mary Tsao said...

He definitely is a cutie. Yes, much cuter than eminem and no doubt nicer to you, too!

But you're not alone in your crushes on unsuitable guys -- I still have a thing for Tommy Lee, a guy who filmed a porno with his wife. Oh, my.

Mocha said...

Spader is the consummate bad boy, but there's something I like about him. He's just so goooood at it!

You have excellent taste. That's all I can write without drooling a bit on the keyboard. ;-)

Onetallmomma said...

Way cute hubby! And we all need our little fantasies. They're OUR fantasies and who's to say boo about who we have in the co-starring role!

Jill Monroe said...

I recently told my friend Tami that I thought Eminem was cute and that he'd joined my MySpace page - she said her opinion of me had lowered.

It's not like I want to marry the guy - he's just interesting eye candy.

Jenn said...

OMG that last picture is so adorable - he could look like an Ogre, and I'd still think he was cute. That whole caring daddy thing gets me all mushy and sappy. But lucky for you, your hubby is just so much better looking than Shrek ;) The baby's not bad either ;)

KrisUnderwood said...

I think I might have to disagree on the Eminem thing, but-I have always had a thing for James Spader, can't explain it. Sex, Lies, and Videotape-yeah! strangely attractive in Secretary as well, which I thoroughly enjoyed. Does that make me wierd?

Lisa said...

First off you are beautiful!

Second off, your hubby is pretty hot!

Third, I think Eminem is hot too :)

And you are the second person who has said the liked Secretary. I soooo need to check it out!

Anonymous said...

OMG! Woody allen and eminem, and worst of all james spader? sick sick sick, you sick twisted deranged freak. Regardless of the body or the brains you can count me out of that party.

What about Hugh Jackman, Alec Baldwin, Samuel L. Jackson or Jude Jaw...or best of all time Cary Grant.

Kris said...

I agree with you on Eminem, James Spader, and the movie Secretary. Not Woody though. :)

Anonymous said...

Hey, all u guys that sed eminem is ugly can go n fuck themselves!
Eminem is one of the hottest white boys out there!
He has a really hot body and a sexy, cute look.
Whats wrong with you guys!
Eminem is sexy, get it into ur heads!

Anonymous said...

Don't worry I completely agree w\ u 'bout EM

Anonymous said...

Well Eminem looks like an angry lesbian woman to me.